SIMPSONS CARToON EPISODE SET IN VALLEJO, CA!

 

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO LIVE IN A CARTOON?

I RECENTLY FOUND OUT - IN VALLEJO, CA....  

A cartoon is a place populated by  exaggerated “caricatures” of people, who think in exaggeratedly stupid ways and devise exaggeratedly crass, crude and clumsy schemes, which backfire on them. You can find out what living in a cartoon is like by reading the story below. It’s called “Homer Simpson And The Bungling Car Dealer.” [Btw, you can expect a surprise “twist” at the end.]

PHANTOM $7,000

Homer picks out a used car at a major car dealership. The salesperson inputs data in his computer, then informs Homer of the “out the door” price, which is $7,000 more than the sticker price! The salesman has secretly added $7,000 in “extras,” without consulting Homer (presumably on orders from “above”). This dealership’s salespeople add several thousand dollars to used cars’ sticker prices, and they are confident that the customers won’t notice! Such stupid thinking could only happen in a cartoon. But even Homer Simpson isn’t gullible enough to be fooled by such a transparently crass, crude and clumsy scheme. He instructs the salesman to remove the “extras.” Wanting to buy a car quickly and efficiently with no “fuss,” Homer gives the dealership the “gift” of deliberately refraining from negotiating a lower price. He doesn’t anticipate that they will try to gouge more money out of him by employing the pathetic ploy described above  -  and by employing the pathetic ploy described below…

EXCLUDES EVERYTHING!

The dealership’s cartoon finance manager sells Homer a $2,000 “service protection plan,” but neglects to point out (presumably on instructions from “above”) the contract’s carefully buried “exclusions” clause, which excludes everything of importance that is mostly likely to go wrong with a car. Later Homer notices this clause and informs the finance manager, in a phone message and an email, that he wishes to cancel the plan. The finance manager never responds, not even after 3 weeks (possibly hoping that Homer will miss the cancellation deadline?). Even Homer Simpson isn’t gullible enough to be fooled by such a transparently crass, crude and clumsy scheme. So he cancels by calling the service plan provider…The finance manager is not the only employee to stop returning Homer’s calls…

THE TRULY DISGUSTING PART

FYI: After deciding to buy the car, Homer arranges to pay the full price of the car in cash in 3 weeks’ time (in the meantime, the dealership has him sign a financing agreement to guarantee the purchase pending the cash payment). Before the sale is finalized, all three of the employees assisting Homer (the salesperson, the finance manager and the finance director) call Homer frequently and return all of Homer’s calls very promptly. As soon as the sale is finalized, and Homer is no longer of use to them, all three of them abruptly stop returning Homer’s calls. This overtly shoddy, dismissive attitude is the truly disgusting part, which pushes Homer beyond his limit, to write this negative review.

ROADRUNNER CARTOON

Possessing zero business sense, the cartoon dealership and parent company managers are blissfully unaware of the financial repercussions of cheating and alienating a customer. They lose not only that customer’s future business, but also the business of the people who read his negative review. The dealership staff devote all their energy to coming up with half-witted “schemes” to make a one-time dishonest “quick buck,” but, by doing so, they sacrifice hundreds of thousands of “long-term bucks” from the potential customers who will avoid this dealership after reading this review. This is like a “Roadrunner” cartoon. The coyote devotes all his energy to devising pea-brained convoluted schemes, designed to capture the roadrunner; and then they backfire on him.

BAD FIX

Btw, on Homer’s new car, a section of the body breaks away. Homer persuades the dealership to fix it (he does this in person, since they ignore his calls). A few days after they “fix” it, that section comes away again, so Homer takes it to an outside body shop. [Homer wonders if this defect might be the reason for the dealership spending so long “cleaning” the car, hidden from view, before he can drive it away.]

UNEXPECTED “TWIST”

I CONFESS: I DECEIVED YOU! The story above didn’t happen in a cartoon. It happened in real life! The dealership employees are not exaggerated cartoon “caricatures.” They are real people, who really do behave in that pathetic way and really do carry out those transparently crude and clumsy schemes! The customer wasn’t Homer Simpson  -  it was me. And the dealership isn’t fictitious  -  it’s Team Chevrolet in Vallejo, part of the DGDG group of dealerships (whose management probably came up with those lame schemes). As you see, truth really is stranger (and cruder and clumsier) than cartoon fiction…Doh! 

YOUR EXPERIENCES? 

Have you had similar experiences with cartoon level behavior and deceptions at car dealerships? I would be interested in hearing about them!